Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nearly got hit by a blue bell ice cream truck. Can I count on you to make plenty of puns like "her life was sweet, and so was her death" at my funeral if that was to happen?
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
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