I just saw a dog and thought "Hey! A goat!" Then realized it was a dog. Now I'm sad.
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have fence marks all over my body
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
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