Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thanks for the hickies, asshole. I make my living as a fitness instructor. It's gonna look reeeeeeal weird if I have to wear a scarf while teaching Zumba all week.
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam 😑
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
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