me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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