I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
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