your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
Welp last night I made out with the guy who slices my deli meat at publix. I'm sure there's a joke there but I'm too hungover to find it. Go noles.
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
Dude I can't beleive you didn't wake up. I literally f'd her IN THE DISHWASHER. Btw I'm pretty sure I also kinda broke the dishwasher.
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
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