if i can run in heels then i can drive
I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
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