They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
why the fuck is there hamburger meat in the toaster. i repeat: WHY THE FUCK IS THERE HAMBURGER MEAT IN MY NEW TOASTER
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
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