Texts From Last Night

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  (517): View more from Michigan

  Happy Easter!!!

  (248): View more from Michigan

  I'm an idiot

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  (517): Happy Easter!!! (248): I'm an idiot http://tfl.nu/fix2
  Replies (3) Good night (795) Bad night (536)
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  (214): View more from Texas

  Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on

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  (214): Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on http://tfl.nu/x4zw
  Replies (11) Good night (859) Bad night (963) Order T-Shirt
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  (949): View more from California

  It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth

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  (949): It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth http://tfl.nu/i6ri
  Replies (8) Good night (526) Bad night (3552) Order T-Shirt
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  (765): View more from Indiana

  I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college

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  (765): I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college http://tfl.nu/2g0y
  Replies (19) Good night (5010) Bad night (444) Order T-Shirt
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  (602): View more from Arizona

  You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.

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  (602): You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy. http://tfl.nu/r33s
  Replies (15) Good night (3023) Bad night (686) Order T-Shirt
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  (905): View more from Toronto

  I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..

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  (905): I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact.. http://tfl.nu/kbzw
  Replies (42) Good night (719) Bad night (5832) Order T-Shirt
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  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.

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  (617): he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home. http://tfl.nu/gpi6
  Replies (32) Good night (8209) Bad night (1279) Order T-Shirt
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  (319): View more from Iowa

  Heyyyy darlin are you busy?

  (1-319): View more from Iowa

  Why hello drunk Jake. It's sober Sarah, I'll tell drunk Sarah you booty called. She'll probably be around tomorrow night.

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  (319): Heyyyy darlin are you busy? (1-319): Why hello drunk Jake. It's sober Sarah, I'll tell drunk Sarah you booty called. She'll probably be around tomorrow night. http://tfl.nu/pwb0
  Replies (34) Good night (25197) Bad night (1608)
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  (206): View more from Washington

  My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.

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  (206): My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'. http://tfl.nu/39kt
  Replies (10) Good night (4820) Bad night (747) Order T-Shirt
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  (425): View more from Washington

  Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!

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  (425): Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue! http://tfl.nu/4b94
  Replies (14) Good night (2947) Bad night (871) Order T-Shirt
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  (303): View more from Colorado

  i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.

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  (303): i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned. http://tfl.nu/e449
  Replies (6) Good night (2365) Bad night (606) Order T-Shirt
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  (606): View more from Kentucky

  at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.

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  (606): at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk. http://tfl.nu/jf5g
  Replies (11) Good night (468) Bad night (3541) Order T-Shirt
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  (585): View more from New York

  Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered

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  (585): Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered http://tfl.nu/ct7k
  Replies (13) Good night (1289) Bad night (898) Order T-Shirt
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  (803): View more from South Carolina

  i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo

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  (803): i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo http://tfl.nu/7ggy
  Replies (1) Good night (290) Bad night (750) Order T-Shirt
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  (775): View more from Nevada

  I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that

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  (775): I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that http://tfl.nu/rttq
  Replies (1) Good night (244) Bad night (312) Order T-Shirt

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