When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
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