just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
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