But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
Randomize