idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
Randomize