Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
Randomize