Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
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