The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
I don't know what weirder, the fact that I flat out said "I thought I deleted you from facebook" or that she responded with "I just hacked your account and readded myself". Never thought I'd say this but I wish drunk me would stop making friends!
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
you made out with another girl for some wings
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
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