I like to think it a success when the cops are called
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
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If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just took the kind of shit that makes your eyes well up with tears as you feel it moving inside of you... So cleansing.
As your only female friend, I feel the need to inform you that texts like these are why she dumped you.
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
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