he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
the people of mcdonalds are all starring at me & this dude like they know we just slept together
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize