Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
Randomize