Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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