a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
Sitting in airport bathroom. Guy walks into toilet next to me and announces "I want to apologize to the entire airport for what I'm about to do"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
I should never have to text my best friend asking if she eloped again last night.
I’m at the Eye doc, sitting in the waiting room. The woman next to me is highlighting passages in her bible. I’m watching pornhub on mute. I clearly need some penis, or Jesus.
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