I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
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