I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
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