are you still at the devil's house?
Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
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