It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
Randomize