I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
i'm too stoned to be pregnant. the kicking is morse code for wanting beef jerky.
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
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I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
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I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
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