Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
highlight of my day: hitchhiking a ride with random locals. tried to make conversation, asked what they do. driver says "you clearly don't recognize me." turns out i have had sex with him and forgot.
You are officially qualified to graduate from college.
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