Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
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Are we still banned from the library?
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
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Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
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