Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
I just woke and had to fish my phone out of a bowl of chili. I was wrist deep in it. WHO BROUGHT CHILI TO A PARTY?!
its not chili. and you brought it.
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
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