im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
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