If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
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