is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
My Uber driver last night was driving a taxi and tried to charge me fare.
You didn't get in your Uber because your ex was driving, that was a legitimate taxi.
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
Randomize