Texts From Last Night

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  (301): View more from Maryland

  She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.

  (301): View more from Maryland

  but she's really nice

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  (301): She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds. (301): but she's really nice http://tfl.nu/144l
  Replies (3) Good night (1022) Bad night (422)
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  (416): View more from Ontario

  I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know

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  (416): I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know http://tfl.nu/hsw7
  Replies (2) Good night (620) Bad night (2310) Order T-Shirt
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  (573): View more from Missouri

  My freaking DENTIST just commented on my hickies. Through the novacaine I managed to mumble 'It was my birthday' and she smiled knowingly.

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  (573): My freaking DENTIST just commented on my hickies. Through the novacaine I managed to mumble 'It was my birthday' and she smiled knowingly. http://tfl.nu/go2x
  Replies (7) Good night (6915) Bad night (817) Order T-Shirt
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  (856): View more from New Jersey

  He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.

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  (856): He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college. http://tfl.nu/khqs
  Replies (6) Good night (876) Bad night (5720) Order T-Shirt
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  (208): View more from Idaho

  On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?

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  (208): On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you? http://tfl.nu/5voi
  Replies (13) Good night (5280) Bad night (804) Order T-Shirt
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  (510): View more from California

  well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it

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  (510): well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it http://tfl.nu/l3dc
  Replies (16) Good night (4551) Bad night (750) Order T-Shirt
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  (906): View more from Michigan

  Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking

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  (906): Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking http://tfl.nu/4jao
  Replies (5) Good night (918) Bad night (2656) Order T-Shirt
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  (519): View more from Ontario

  someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"

  (403): View more from Alberta, CA

  I think you may want to look into that...

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  (519): someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement" (403): I think you may want to look into that... http://tfl.nu/qglv
  Replies (5) Good night (855) Bad night (2776)
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  (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.

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  (717): He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes. http://tfl.nu/uq08
  Replies (12) Good night (1340) Bad night (977) Order T-Shirt
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  (248): View more from Michigan

  THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?

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  (248): THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday? http://tfl.nu/raf6
  Replies (14) Good night (1720) Bad night (753) Order T-Shirt
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  (203): View more from Connecticut

  Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk

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  (203): Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk http://tfl.nu/skkt
  Replies (16) Good night (594) Bad night (1222) Order T-Shirt
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  (514): View more from Quebec

  please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him

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  (514): please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him http://tfl.nu/t57p
  Replies (5) Good night (851) Bad night (461) Order T-Shirt
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  (508): View more from Massachusetts

  Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap

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  (508): Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap http://tfl.nu/gn8d
  Replies (1) Good night (663) Bad night (315) Order T-Shirt
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  (321): View more from Florida Space Coast

  Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"

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  (321): Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo" http://tfl.nu/3ea4
  Replies (8) Good night (706) Bad night (173) Order T-Shirt
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  (262): View more from Wisconsin

  You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!

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  (262): You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?! http://tfl.nu/rmx8
  Replies (6) Good night (381) Bad night (187) Order T-Shirt

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