I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't tell me you're on acid again
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Randomize