I changed my tire completely alone.. I could totally win survivor
Its my greatest physical accomplishment
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
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