I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
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