Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
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Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want to be your penis for a week.
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
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