he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
She came home wasted 'not wantin to talk about it' so for revenge I woke her up with a dutch oven and she puked all over me and the bed. I can't win.
Dude I told you 22 year olds shouldn't get married
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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