The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
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