I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
Im at a party and this guy hitting on me just showed me his 'caution choking hazard' tattoo right above his penis. There goes any chance he had of getting laid tonight.
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
Randomize