Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
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