Fuck u you updated twitter but didn't answer my text
I know you're alive
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
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