wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
i kind of just want to tell my cleaning lady I'm an alcoholic so it's not awkward when I stumble out of my room to go sit in my car for 2 hours and wait for her to finish cleaning the several empty bottles of wine in my room
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
Woke up to a bottle of gatorade and a packet of saltine crackers tied to underwear hanging from my ceiling fan, along with 3 advil stuck to a piece of duct tape and a note saying "have a happy hangover- <3 you/me"
Drunk you is pretty stunner.
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
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