Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
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