Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
bring money and cleavage
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
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