ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
Randomize