I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
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