when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
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