so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
she wants to wait til the kids are asleep so im just shotgunning the parents beers in the pillow fort. I love fucking babysitters
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
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