"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going to CVS to meet the Craigslist guy who is going to buy my underwear. If I don't text you within the next hour, plz assume that I have been abducted by a stranger with an underwear fetish.
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
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